Big Dico's Glorious Blog

The events of last night have made me think a lot. A very close family friend tried to commit suicide, the only thing that stopped him was the gun jamming. By the time we got there and the cops arrived it would have been to late. It made me wonder how someone can be pushed to that point and I realized I was a hypocrite for thinking that. I’ve attempted suicide, I was in a very bad place at the time but I can’t give one specific reason why. The only reason it wasn’t successful was my truck breaking down. I still battle with depression but I’m winning the fight for now. I have come close to attempting it again but my best friend was able to talk me down each time. She wasn’t around the first time and not having anyone was almost what killed me. This isn’t a cry for help, I’m doing the best I ever have. This is just a realization that I came to last night. There doesn’t always have to be a specific reason, if someone feels like it’s their only option they act on it.

Woo I’ve lost 3 pounds in 4 days of p90x. I’m adding insanity in too, my stomach is going be gone right quick.

Your body’s cold
Hope is lost I can’t let go
Can I die with you so we can never grow old?
Cut the ties (Cut the ties)
With this note you left behind
As I read the words I hear you telling me why

Too late, too late
I never said goodbye
Too late, too late
Can’t even ask you why
And now I’m wasting away in my own misery
I hope you’ve finally gone to a place where you belong

My sadness shows
As your name is carved in stone
Can’t erase the words, so the reality grows
I wish I died (I wish I died)
On that night right by your side (Night right by your side)
So just kill me now, let the good times roll
Too late, too late

Too late, too late
I never said goodbye
Too late, too late
Can’t even ask you why
And now I’m wasting away in my own misery
I hope you’ve finally gone to a place where you belong

Will you wait for me? (Will you wait for me?)
Will I see you on the other side?
You won’t have to wait too long
Yeah, yeah!
Will you come to me? (Will you come to me?)
Will you take me to the other side?
‘Cause here I don’t belong!

Too late, too late
I never said goodbye
Too late, too late
Can’t even ask you why
And now I’m wasting away in my own misery
I hope you’ve finally gone to a place where you belong

I never said goodbye
Can’t even ask you why (I’ve wasted)
Away in my own misery
I hope you’ve finally gone to a place where you belong

I guess that when the time comes it will come. There is no point in forcing conversation when someone doesn’t want to talk. I’ll stop trying and if anyone that I try talking to decides they want to talk I’ll be here. “When I text you it means I miss you, when I don’t text you I’m waiting for you to miss me.”